People say I'm a dreamer...I call it a defense mechanism against life.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

A Year Later....

Dear Dad,

A year ago you called me up in the middle of the morning and as always your call brought a little sunshine into my lifeless routine. I gladly answered the phone and you seemed upbeat. You told me you were going on a short road trip, and as always I wished you a safe trip and you promised to call when you got there. We shared a final laugh and I asked you to be careful.

Well, your call never came. Instead I received a much more painful alternative. In just one second I knew my life was forever changed, from now on it would always be sadder no matter where gone. Life took you away from me. I shall always refer to that day, as the day I was forced to grow up, to experience a concentrated dose of pain that left me numb and heartbroken, and with time it made me stronger.

I must say that friends and family really came out to join me in mourning your loss, yet as I stared into the packed room I knew that I was the one missing you the most. But most importantly I was aware that I knew something that none of them knew: what an incredibly sweet, kind, and noble person you are; and I knew that confidential knowledge trusted to me made me in some way special. It meant you had allowed me into your life, that I was able to be a friend to you, and you had offered me a piece of your being your rarely shared with anyone.

I miss you and I love, and everytime I hear something funny I want to call you and share it with you. We sure had some good laughs, and let me tell you when we laughed together that was when I knew life could be sweet and good.


nothingprofound said...

Stella-I don't recall if I mentioned this before, but I had a similar relationship with my mother. We were very special to each other, and we both knew it. Her death was the the hardest I've had to endure in my life.


It seems that you've had a close relationship with your dad which I never had. I'm a Mommy's girl,always have been. When my dad was still alive, there was an inexplicable gap between us because his world was remote and cold. He was an intellectual and sometimes I felt he disregarded me.But he was a very good provider and I knew he loved me the best way he could. It's just that I'm much closer to my mom.